I've had a nagging feeling that I've slid by in life -- that I had a "trust fund" mentality -- that I'd never really earned, and therefore never really appreciated, anything I've had in life.
Now, I'm sure some of that is my inner shit kicker telling me I'm a failure. Everyone has one of those, but wisdom necessitates knowing the difference between your soul's longings and negative self- resistance or sabotage.
But honestly, I went to college on a trust fund; I was lazy and didn't apply myself academically in high school or college; when I worked in politics, I would hustle but felt that I could rest on the fact that nothing actually got done in DC -- as long as I looked busy, that's all that mattered because I wouldn't be held responsible for results -- the election, that press release, that scandal, that WHATEVER derailed MY HARD WORK. When I did truly work hard, I was frustrated because nothing ever really got done in that town. I felt like I was pushing, or pretending to push, a boulder up a hill.
I had an inner itch, an inner drive to do more, to prove myself, to help others, to have EARNED MY WAY.
It felt like my soul was eroding within me. That I was a fraud and always just talked a big game and never able to back it up (as pretty much EVERYONE in politics does!). I don't call my desire to earn my way "ambition," but more of a fulfillment of my soul and God-given longings and abilities.
I knew I wanted out of DC -- there are good people there, but the entire socio-economic inertia of the city is one toward comfort, status quo.
And by the grace of God and LOTS hard work on my part, I was able to save money to move to Nashville Tennessee in December of 2020. I knew literally one person and left behind a great professional peer group in strength and conditioning, a solid group of friends and a "comfort" of familiarity. Too much comfort is just a slow death of your soul.
Now I'm in Nashville and EARNING MY WAY. If I don't work, I don't eat. It's that simple. And I'd have it no other way. I've got to be scrappy and hustle; be thankful for opportunities; take pride in ownership of responsibility. I've got to learn and grow.
Ultimately, that's what I want for you too. I want you to learn and grow. I heard Steven Pressfield say recently, "If you want to become a billionaire, come up with a way for people to give in to their own resistance." Resistance is things that make them uncomfortable, that would force them to grow. His penultimate example is internet and social media -- it allows people to almost endlessly avoid their problems. That is, until the bill comes due and you realized you haven't EARNED YOUR WAY.
My job is to LITERALLY create RESISTANCE for people.... To find where they've given in to comfort in their health and push them out of that comfort zone. To challenge them to grow. I won't be a billionaire any time soon.
Man am I thankful for this opportunity. Time to start living.